We need more than tuxes and dresses at Oscars

Just a couple of random thoughts this week, mostly because my brain is now a quivering lump of jelly thanks to too many debates... as to what Angelina Jolie will be wearing to the Oscars tonight (hahaha, you thought I was going to talk about the Presidential Candidate Follies, didn't you? Pleez, I'm just not going there).Of course, I should be saying "who" she's going to be wearing that's what they all say, isn't it?Really, now, isn't that the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard grown women say? Can't they just say "Who designed your dress?" and answer "Why, my dress was designed by So and So"?
Who really cares what (or who) she's wearing? Actually, when you get right down to it, who cares what ANY of them are wearing (though I do love a fine looking guy in a nice fitting tuxedo).I think they've got it all wrong. They shouldn't be trying to outdo themselves with dead swan dresses (look it up), no They should be wearing HATS!Operation Glass Slipper dresses teens for prom.The only one wearing hats right now is Lady Gaga and because she seems to like outfits made of hamburger and other substances not intended by God or all of humanity to ever be made into a dress or hat, I don't think she counts.
You see, I got into this hat kick whilst (getting into the spirit here) watching the British royalty at various televised weddings the last few years. Hats are it, baby, hats are the fashion wave of the future. A woman is not a woman without a hat, even if it looks like a plate of spaghetti or octopodes with feathers.AND, hats have to be made with MATERIAL you know, that woven cloth-like substance that comes in different colors. Meat doesn't count, because the only friends you'll have at the end of the day is every stray dog in a 100-mile radius, and one guy who's an escapee from "The Walking Dead."
I've often said that hats need to make a comeback in the U.S. There are just too many bare naked hairdos out there that need something more than frosting on the tips or a root touchup. Even a "just got out of bed, but I really spent 5 hours getting my hair to look this way" 'dos need a hat. Please.Well, I can guarantee that the "fashions at the Oscars" will include: Strapless dresses, dresses with one strap, dresses with no backs, dresses with no fronts (OK, maybe a little, but for sure ripe for a wardrobe malfunction), dresses that look like the dress I wore to the prom in 1973 (complete with ruffles), dresses that look like that tie-dyed T-shirt from 1972 I still have, dresses that should have remained on the hanger, dresses that look like leftovers from the movie "27 Dresses" (sure to become a classic), way too sparkly dresses, way too plain dresses, and any dress in navy blue (which should be banned as an official color, because NOBODY looks good in it).